You Have A Bird Stuck To Your Bumper

I drove along side a gentlemen today who was driving a red Ford Fiesta. The only reason I remember him or his car is because while we were at stop light on Post Road/Church Street/Division Street (the name of the road is an entirely different story – this stupid road changes names 3 times in the length of 4 miles and thus makes it nearly impossible to give directions to anyone who doesn’t live in the area). While we were stopped at the light I noticed a small movement on the Fiesta’s front bumper. The guy had accidentally hit a robin and it was stuck in one of the air holes built into his car’s bumper. The poor little creature was obviously almost dead and I am pretty sure there was no possibility of recovery for it.  Still I thought the guy would want to know so I started to signal him.

This is where I need to say that there isn’t really a universal  gesture for “Hey you have a bird stuck in car’s bumper.”

I started out with an understood friendly, small, double honk to get his attention. Then I rolled my window down and shouted “you have a bird stuck in your bumper!” The guy didn’t roll his window down but looked at me smiled and nodded. I was sure he didn’t get the message. So I tried again. This time I pointed to the front of his car. I was sure the point would work. After all, I just wanted to make the guy aware of the situation. What better way than a point? Once again, he smiled and nodded. In fact, I am pretty sure that he added a thumbs up to the nod and smile. The light turned green and we both started to drive.

I went along side him trying to get his attention, but this guy was apparently very serious about road safety and thus kept his eyes focused on the road ahead of him. I decided to follow his lead and waited till the next stop light (there are plenty of them on Post Road/Church Street/Division Street) because while it is physically one road surface the city planners apparently thought it should have enough street lights for 3 separate roads, since it has three road names.). Once we stopped I pulled out my best form of communicating the truth of the basically dead bird stuck in his bumper.

I screamed, pointed, and I began to flap my arms like a bird. I even made a few bird sounds while I was doing this. Since I don’t really know the sound a robin makes I went with crow and dove sounds. An interesting combination of caws and coos. While not technically accurate for a robin stuck in a bumper, I did think it would still communicate the message more effectively than not including the sounds. I was very convincing. Unfortunately this guy most have been listening to a very interesting radio show, because he was too engulfed in whatever he was listening to for me to grab his attention. His eyes stayed forward. There most have been a segment of the radio program that caused him tension because I also saw his hands grip the steering wheel a little tighter. When the light turned green he turned left and I lost him.

So if you see an older gentlemen driving a red Ford Fiesta can you look and see if he has a bird stuck in his bumper still? Maybe you could also caw and coo at him so he will get the message about the bird.

I Promise It is a Chocolate Muffin Stain

This week’s sale item at Kwik Trip (a company I really like) are their muffins and I am a big fan of their double chocolate muffin.  So Tuesday I bought a double chocolate muffin for a treat on my drive over to Marshfield and Pittsville to visit some of the companies that I chaplain for. When I made it to my first company I noticed that I had dropped a few crumbs on my car seat. I didn’t think it was any big deal. I went through all my visits and had a great day.

When I made it home and swapped into some running clothes I discovered that I had a double chocolate muffin stain in the butt crack of my pants. Apparently I had been walking around all day with this stain in a location where a chocolate mark conveys a very embarassing message.

I promise it was a double chocolate muffin stain. Really.

he touched my leg

first i want to say that today is adam’s birthday. i can’t believe he is 18 years old. he is such an awesome kid that i am really proud of. i am looking forward to hiking with him over spring break.

now to my story.

this week has been one of those weird weeks in wisconsin weather where i cross country skied at the beginning of the week and was riding my bike and running in shorts at the end of the week. seriously, it was in the mid-60s today while we experienced a low of 9° on monday. so while i was running in shorts today, i was running in tights and shorts to stay warm throughout the rest of the week.

that’s where the weirdness came from.

wednesday i was running through our neighborhood and i saw a guy that i often see running around the neighborhood too. we usually just nod at each other when we run past one another. since i could tell he had obviously just finished running, i thought i would stop and get to know him. after all, i like to be a good neighbor and this guy only lives a few roads from me. we started talking about running, how we both did in the point bock run (he is much faster than me), and various other things. during the conversation he asked me about the tights i was wearing. he wondered if they tended to get hot. i told him not really because they are pretty thin and made of wicking material. i pinched them and pulled them away from my leg so that he could see how thin they were. apparently my pinch and pull method didn’t convince him because he quickly reached out and placed his hand, palm first, on my leg and said “wow, those are really thin.” he then slowly removed his hand from my thigh.

i was in complete shock. i really wasn’t expecting it. i’m sure he didn’t mean anything from it but at the same time i wasn’t sure how to respond. so i decided the best thing to do was run away. so i did.

i think i will get a pair of thicker tights next year … or change my running route. :)

she wiped it on her rear


i go to the main street portage county public library pretty often. my family is made up of readers so i often find myself checking out and returning books. since the library also has free wifi i often use it as an “office” when i am looking for a place other than emy j’s to do some work. today i went to the library to return, check out and use it as an office.

while checking things out today my library card didn’t initially work. the librarian responded “there is probably some dirt or something on the card preventing the barcode from being read.” this made perfect sense but she then added, “i’ll just wipe it on my magic rear.”

that’s right. she said she was going to wipe it on her butt and before i could say “NO” she moved it to her backside and wiped my card on her rear.  when she tried the barcode reader again it didn’t work.

i guess her butt wasn’t so magic after all.

since i have no plans to use my now butt-wiped card again, i will get a new library card the next time i am at the library.